Wait a Minute... I CAN be what I really want to be!

Please note that I am still coming off casein, and just awoke from the most intense dream before writing this. My head feels a bit underwater. But write I must!

Yesterday afternoon, a lightbulb went off in my brain, and I found myself sitting at our booth at the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology thinking to myself, "Oh! Wait, I CAN be Mokey!"

This story starts 25 years ago. The truth is, I wanted to be a philosopher when I grew up. Mokey Fraggle was one of my idols - the philosopher fraggle, who loved to sing and write poems and create art and think about the meaning of life. That's exactly what I wanted to do.

However, I quickly learned that being a philosopher is an unrealistic goal. I don't remember the conversations with adults that I must have had, but I came to the conclusion that I could never allow myself to be a philosopher unless I could determine a way to make a reliable source of income from it. To date, that's never quite happened, though I came close a couple times. (...Close to determining a way, not to making any headway, as it were.)

Yet if I think about it, being a philosopher is still what I've always wanted to do. More than sing, or compose, or create art - those are parts of the whole. I've spent hours of my life discovering grand schemes for existence, and evaluating them, comparing them, and reading the conclusions of others. I started a spiritual-philosophical book collection, which I then stopped, both because I didn't want to devote so much time to something I could never do, and because with the boom in the self-help section over the last 15 years, it's an expensive hobby to have!

To make a long story short, I can see now where I've devised 25,000 ways to do what I want to do without actually doing it. All of my career schemes have involved some level of philosophy, and sharing what I've learned with others, so that their lives may be better. I'm told that my voice, when used to sing, can do that. I've seriously considered being a religious leader, a stained-glass maker (thwarted only by lack of proper ventilation!), a pet sitter (lots of time to think), multiple times I've considered song writing, and on and on. But all I really want to do is think about the world at large and share my thoughts with others, so that they might improve their lives.

(I've also struggled with having the right to tell people what I think. How do I prove that I have a valid point of view? I am no one, after all. But I am also Everyone.)

Making Mokey a Reality
Yesterday I was sitting surrounded by people who understand the importance of meditation, relaxation, and compassion. The science supporting energy psychology is stacking up, and most of the people I met had unrefutable research behind their products and the benefits they provide to help one attain a better whole being. A couple of them seemed a bit fruity, but there's no doubt that what they offer works. And they're selling it for ridiculous sums of money.

I have no interest in earning ridiculous amounts of money -- if I did, I'd give most of it away. That's not a lifestyle I crave. But I do want to make a decent living. It dawned on me that my boss, a leader in the field of energy presence/awareness and cranio-sacral therapy, is a philosopher who is right now making a living teaching others what she's learned. Many of the exhibitors, speakers and attendees at this conference are doing the very same thing, at least in part. And then it dawned on me:

I have an idea.

I've had a grand idea rolling about in my head for a couple months now. I've been putting a lot of thought to it, thinking about how I can get the idea out there without going bankrupt.

I have lots of ways to express this idea, my hardship comes in narrowing it down. Express it as a work of fiction? Write a novel? Self-help? Music? Integrate it with something else? Go religious and teach it from the pulpit?

Wait a minute... I CAN be Mokey!!!

I still have a lot of thought and preparation to give it. Indeed, I have not explored the philosophical limits of my idea yet (out of fear) but I know that I will. And maybe, maybe we can do it together. I will finally be living the stuff of my childhood dreams.