Sunday, July 29, 2012

Gleefully Ready to Get Started on This Path!

You know when you get super-
excited about something and you
want to do it All Now?
Yeah.
This week has been fabulous and important!  I got the ball rolling on my dream, and I have work to do - work that I'm excited to start!

Author's Note: I probably sound crazy-pretentious in this post. I don't mean to be all braggadocious -- it's just that, for once, I'm starting on a path that really fits my wants, likes, skills, traits, etc.; that respects my innermost personal dreams; that doesn't have any holes or leave me feeling weird somewhere inside. It just fits. It makes me Excited and Happy. Also, I like exclamation points. In this post, I use them to express Happy. ;)

Starting the Journey



This past week, I expressed my desire to become a Unity Minister to the current spiritual leader of my church.


I thought she'd be surprised. She wasn't! She was so happy! She told me that she wasn't surprised because I have a presence that is well suited for getting up in front of people. Yay, I'm so glad to know that people can pick up on that, even if they've never seen me speak formally.

I also expressed my great desire to her to do more to help the church. We're going through a big transition right now - we're between dedicated Pastors. Our current leader, also a foundational member of our church, is a Licensed Unity Teacher (i.e. just a hop and a jump from ordination, but she chose a different path). She is shouldering much of the work of preparing services, and giving the weekly message. She shares the weekly message with a few other people, but even when they are speaking, she is assisting the service. She is not a full-time Minister but has accepted the roll of one, as a volunteer, with grace and strength and buckets and buckets full of love. I have great admiration for her and her gifts to our community!

I've been wanting to get up in front of the congregation for so long. Don't get me wrong! I already do - heck, I sang today. I helped lead the congregational songs and sang 3 special pieces with a good friend. It's about once a month on average that I'm the lead vocalist. And I love it! It's great. But it's not what I really want to do -- not my first choice.

A Burst of Overzealous Glee!

I want to speak to the people! Give me the mic already, I'm ready! When do I start!?

...It took me a long time to admit to myself that what I really want to do is talk to the people - to be one of the people leading the service, sharing the word, spreading the Love, sending hope and inspiring to action.

So this coming month, finally, I will have the opportunity to begin this journey actively as a worship assistant. I'll be up front, helping to lead everyone in prayer, reading from the Daily Word, praying before the Offering.  It's a big change to move from the space of "special musician" to "worship assistant", but I'm so ready.

More than that: One Sunday coming up, I will give the Sunday message. Me! Me, finally! I've wanted to do this for sooo long!  I'm so looking forward to being a service in this way. To sharing a different side of myself with my community, to sharing words that I hope will bring at least one person closer to Spirit on their journey, to helping our current leader be able to take a Breath by adding another week to her calendar where she doesn't have to prepare the message. She is an excellent speaker, but it's hard work, and it's not her dayjob. I'm excited be to able to help her, as well as our other occasional speakers who will now find one more among their ranks in the rotation.

Hopefully. If I make it into a regular rotation. I haven't delivered my first message yet!

Preparation: Starting Now

I am going to take this wave of excitement and ride it as long as I can. Which means: Beginning preparations, now.  And I don't even know when I'll be speaking yet.

It's been a long time since I delivered a formal speech longer than 3 or 4 minutes. A decade at least! Nearly a decade if you count my thesis defense, which, er, really doesn't count. It was around a boardroom table. Not like audiences of several hundred I delivered presentations to professionally a couple years before that.

I remember all my basics. But I'm obviously rusty: I can't assume that I can pull this together in a day or two, as was once my custom. Plus, I have 15-20 minutes of time to fill in a way that keeps people interested.  I can totally do that, but I need material to drawn on, and that takes research. But before I can do that, I need a topic.

To find a topic, I need to be Open. Open to the patterns and themes convergent around me right now, open to noticing, to witnessing, to feeling what grips me. Allow it to coalesce, and seek further examples as they occur in my everyday life. Watch how what I've observed makes its appearance in my life and in the lives of the people around me.

And I get to read. God, I miss reading! I gave up reading when I became a mother. Now I can start reading again. After all, I have a lot of texts to learn if I'm going to complete my studies. And it's going to take a long time -- several years, perhaps longer given my busy schedule. Might as well start Right Now.

=)


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