The Part of this Blog Posting in the First, Also Known at Part One.
In the above post I wrote:
A few months ago, I took a workshop entitled Skills to Energize Your Life. In this course, I opened to thinking of "auras" in terms of space as well. I'd dabbled in it before, but my experience here was pretty concrete - someone who knew what they were talking about, who is an expert in such things, verified for me some things I'd come to believe about my personal energy style.
This is where, for the first time in my life, someone confirmed for me that my "aura" is big.
I mean, everyone's energy field has varying sizes. When you're trying to be still and quiet and unseen, like a mouse, you may pull yourself inward. Some people are like that naturally - they tend to be the "quiet ones" -- that girl or boy in the classroom who's there, but whose name everyone always forgets. Or the one person in the office meetings who has impeccable attendence, and yet it seems like they're never there.
Some people who are aware of their personal energy boundaries can even control the size. They can pull it in or expand it as the occasion warrants. I think my Dad was one, but he wasn't necessarily aware of it happening. His default presence was massive. I could tell when he'd entered a room without looking toward the door. I just knew, I could feel him.
The guy I had a massive, unrequited, tortured crush on as a teen was the same way. Literally, the cafeteria could be bustling with gangly youths of al kinds, but as soon as he entered the room -- no many how many tables away I was, or how blocked my line of sight -- I knew it. All I had to do to verify it was stand up and crane my neck a little bit-- wait -- yep, there he is!
My "aura", I had confirmed this past April, is just as big. Like, All of the Time. Because I can't control it. My "aura" is naturally wide most of the time. It's what puts a lot of people off about me - I may come across as "overbearing" even if all I'm doing is sitting in the room, looking around, minding my own business.
It's why some of my friendships have ended. People think I'm "judging" them when I haven't said a word. Or, based on a feeling, misinterpret what I do say, when the negetive vibe they may be feeling off me probably has nothing whatsoever to do with them.
It's why -- perhaps -- I have no problem picking up on a friendship that left off years ago. (That one, I can't explain yet, just trust for now that I think there's a connection there.)
It's part of why I was so good at "ESP" games as a kid. ("Are your eyes shut?" "Yes! Are you concentrating on something?" "Yes!" Then I'd imagine a kind of stick-man of light wandering through the room. I'd just watch him, doing my darnedest not to direct him. It was uncanny how frequently he pointed me toward the chosen object.)
Most Importanly, It's why Crazy People Talk To Me In Public Places. And this... this I need to explore in further detail.
No comments:
Post a Comment