I'm not certain what I need to write about tonight, but I've known for over a day now that I need to write tonight -- that I need to get on with it, that I can't stall on this, that I need to keep going before I lose it. Because I've "lost" "it" too many times before. Not this time. And so, tonight, I sacrifice physical rest (sleep) so that I may continue to give some much needed rest to my emotional and spiritual aspects, rest in the sense that R.E.M. sleep is vital to our physical refreshment even while we are working very hard in dreaming at the time.
Gah, I use a lot of words. I like the words, but I still hear my teachers' voices telling me that you won't. Time and place, time and place, I'm not submitting this blog post to anyone for their professional review. Just me.
Letting the topics come as they may
What am I called to explore within tonight? I have a couple draft topics saved to the queue, but I'm not ready to go there yet. They are... too dark and painful for Right Now. I still have to get up in the morning and go to work, ya' know. They'd drain me dry and I'd end up useless on the job and at home tomorrow (rather, later today). Can't have that right now.
Energies seems to be the word most on the tip of the brain. I can feel it floating there, right near the spot where I feel inspiration and assuredness. It's flitting about. Mostly, because I feel it's not mine to discuss at the moment. Energies is my husband's. Energies is what he's naturally about. He's a Reiki practitioner and it came to him naturally. He senses things that I can't even tell are there. His presence is so much more fine tuned than mine -- my energy presence is so big, so uncontained, that it drowns everything else out.
...So maybe that's what I need to talk about. Big Sigh. I suppose I should Start from the Beginning so as to Not Completely Lose any readers who are starting to wonder if I'm a Loon.
Energy Presence: A Truly Basic Primer by someone who only half knows what they're gibbering on about
I've always felt connected to the world around me. We all do, or have, at some time or another. Even if it's just the rush of human understanding you may get when a good movie or TV show comes to an end -- that's a version of it.
Let me go in another direction. People talk about "auras". They give auras these colors, assign traits to them like they're horoscopes or something. Here's my take on auras: Everyone has a unique energy field around them. It fills us, it envelopes us, it can envelope that which surrounds us. Rather than color, I've always tended to think of them in terms of texture and the quality of light. Take me, for example: One of three strong-willed, intelligent, very different sisters. My Mom and I have always sensed that I am the shimmery one. If I were a rainbow, I'd be a fine-glittery one. My closest sister, she glows. He light is both more subtle and more steady. The oldest of us -- she can't help but be flashy, even on her dullest day. She sparkles!!!
A few months ago, I took a workshop entitled Skills to Energize Your Life. In this course, I opened to thinking of "auras" in terms of space as well. I'd dabbled in it before, but my experience here was pretty concrete - someone who knew what they were talking about, who is an expert in such things, verified for me some things I'd come to believe about my personal energy style.
More to come - my baby's awake and needs attention. Part II to come eventually!
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